{Sunday, November 9, 2008}

baby....

my friend told me that he got you alot of stuff....
i know i cant afford everything u need...
but does love = being happy with satisfied material needs??
i was once there... i have guys that just buy me stuff....
yet end of the day... i know that is not the real love..
i hope u still remember how small little sweet things we did for each other....
of course i do dream of being capable of buying alot expensive stuff for u...
someday we will get there...
i have been studying very hard...
attending countless investment talk n stuff...
i cant give u wat he can give u...
the only thing i can offer is my unconditional love...

i know you are comfortable with what u have...
have u question yourself hard enough?
is that the future u want?
are u being the real you?
i never make u pretend to be someone i love...
i love the way u are...

everytime my heart breaks....
i will try to fix it back....
i wonder how long i can pull it through...
i guess my tears is the only glue to stick it all back....

another day past... i still miss you...

[[12:57 AM;

me


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i was your world..
the planet that you used to breathe in..
your eden, your comfort, your joy..
resources depleted..
i forced you to leave me..
you deserved something better..

now that you found your new shelter,
the path back to my world is sealed...
i am just like pluto,
chunk at the end of the solar system...
neglected, frozen, lonely, forgotten...
a familiar territory became so foreign..

i shall sleep in darkness,
till the sun draws nearer to me again..
i guess it will never happen...
strike me with a meteor,
combust into dust,
shall never exist again...

shattered universe by erubin

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
everyday i woke up with morning dew on my eyes,
my vision is blurred,
tears became the additional cornea..
the protective layer will soon roll down...
reaches my heart,
is that my medication for the heart broken wound?
or is it causing more pain by corroding it?

alcohol took me away from reality,
spurt out the truth that i love you.
alcohol intoxicated my blood,
serve as an analgesic drug,
but my heart keep pumping the pain.
not even liquid nitrogen can numb it.

i cant sleep,
i will have nightmare.
i cant wake up,
i will face reality again.
euthanise me,
stop this ambivalent situation.

Inevitable Pain - Erubin



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